i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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