Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
