hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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