Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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