I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
