He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
