Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
