pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
