let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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