you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
