ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
