The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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