I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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