Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
