billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They have beer where we have blood.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
