I love black thongs
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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