i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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