I hate your face
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Randomize
