I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
