I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
