Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
