we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
