Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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