its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
