I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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