He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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