The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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