we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
