you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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