I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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