I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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