does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize