I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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