am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
