We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
