do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
