All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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