Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
