I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
