you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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