He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This is my gift to your gina
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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