I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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