2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
