i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
