Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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