I think I am morally bankrupt
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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