I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
