Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
