I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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