I'm sorry my penis didn't work
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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