don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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