Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
please don't ironically join a cult
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