True but thats because hes a fetus.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
