ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
