Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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