On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
