Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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