The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
