i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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